Sensual massage is a technique that has been used in the Tantric sexual arts for thousands of years. Shri Param Eswaran, expert in Tantric massage, cites the activity as a means to increase intimacy and exchange positive, passionate energy between partners. It's a great way to add something new to a stale sexual routine, or to increase intimacy in a new or fizzling relationship. Sensual massage can be a stand-alone act or serve as the precursor to sexual activity.
Set the mood. You need to create a safe, private and comfortable place for your massage to occur. Find out what scents and music your partner likes and add those to the environment. Light candles or use soft, diffused room lighting to create a warm, relaxing atmosphere. Have clean sheets or towels to keep her warm while you massage other areas of her body. Place pillows all around that she can use to adjust for comfort whenever she needs to.
Use oils. Oils reduce the friction caused by skin-to-skin contact. A good quality massage oil will allow your hands to glide over her skin much more smoothly. It will also soften the skin of your hands, giving you a more velvet-like touch. Many oils are scented with libido-stimulating oils and fragrances.
Begin massaging. Have her lay on her stomach in a comfortable position. Start with any areas of her body that may contain tension, like her neck and shoulders. Caress her skin using longer, slower, deeper movements than you would use during a less sensual massage. Listen and watch for any cues that let you know what she likes and doesn't like, such as her body rising to your touch or sounds that indicate pleasure. Knead the large muscles of the back with the heels of your hands to work out stress.
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Move your focus from areas of tension to areas of arousal. Glide your hands over the sides of her body, just gently grazing the sides of her breasts. Move in close, allowing her to feel your breath and the warmth of your body. Use a feather-like touch to stimulate the nerves at the small of the back and trace your fingertips in one large heart-shaped motion around her hips and to her thighs. Slide your hands down the back of her thighs.
Beginning at the back of the knees, apply gentle pressure with your fingertips in a circular motion, moving toward the inside of her legs. Run your hands up the insides of her thighs, stopping a few inches below where her legs join her body. Quickly slide your hands away to add teasing excitement. Finish your massage by freshly oiling your hands and proceeding to her feet. Ask her to roll over onto her back so you can have easier access to her feet. This leaves her in a relaxed, open position where you can choose to massage the front of her body as she is comfortable, or move to sexual activity.
Be completely sure you have consent before trying anything overtly sexual, such as touching the breasts or genitals. Always stop when a woman says to, or if her body language becomes rigid, indicating she is uncomfortable. Always use protection when in close personal contact with another person's genitals or fluids.
A Jill-of-all-trades, Lillian Downey is a certified Responsible Sexuality Educator, certified clinical phlebotomist and a certified non-profit administrator. She's also written extensively on gardening and cooking. She also authors blogs on nail art blog and women's self esteem.