To get a man addicted to you, you need to stimulate the parts of his brain that trigger craving and longing and engage in activities that release habit-forming, feel-good chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins. Memories, experiences, food and even certain smells can trigger intense feelings in a man that will keep him strung out on love and desire and desperate for more. Best of all, these simple techniques can work for most anyone, whether you're in a new relationship or looking to regain the spark in a long-term commitment.
Create a "sensory connection" by wearing a specific brand of perfume or flavored lip gloss. In the future, when he encounters the scent of your perfume or a similar flavor of your lip gloss, he'll ache for you, says Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., author of the book "Why Can't You Read My Mind?" "When he experiences something that he associates with falling in love with you, those intense, sensual memories trigger a positive physical reaction and generate instant longing," says Bernstein.
Give him a little time to miss you. Maintain an independent life outside of your relationship with him. Go out of town with friends or family, and leave him at home to think about you.
Feed him both spicy and sweet foods. Eating hot and spicy food releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins into the bloodstream, while sweet tastes and smells "...induce a state of physical pleasure," says Alan Hirsch, MD, the neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, Illinois. Take him out once a week for spicy Thai food, for example. And for dessert, try putting a little sweet honey on your body and let him lick it off, recommends Los Angeles, California sexologist Ava Cadell, Ph.D. Hirsch also says that according to his research, the scents that most arouse men include cinnamon buns, vanilla, lavender, doughnuts and pumpkin pie.
Tease and flirt with him. Send him sexy messages on his cell phone, or leave a love note in his pocket. Delaying a man's gratification will make him fantasize about you and want you even more, says Cosmopolitan magazine.
Try new things together. Take a weekend at a hotel in a strange new town, or go camping under the stars. "Having novel experiences with your man releases dopamine, which triggers lust and desire," says Helen Fisher, PhD, an anthropologist and author of the book, "Why We Love." Dopamine, a chemical that stimulates the pleasure center of the brain, motivates us to want to repeat pleasurable activities, and is one of the chief chemicals involved in addiction.
Get a little scared with each other. Watch intense horror movies, ride roller coasters or go bungee jumping. Risky activities packed with adrenaline also increase dopamine levels, says anthropologist Helen Fisher.
Say his name frequently. Whisper something in his ear that allows you to call him by his name, or say his name while you kiss his neck. Hearing his own name can be a powerful aphrodisiac, claims Eve Marx, a body-language expert and author of "Read My Hips."
Men also love mystery and surprise, says Cosmopolitan magazine, so change up your hair now and then or show up wearing a sexy, new dress.
Don't tell him everything about yourself all at once--reveal things about yourself slowly to keep him coming back, advises Cosmopolitan.
- "Why We Love: The Nature And Chemistry Of Romantic Love"; Helen Fisher; 2006
Jessica Taylor has been writing professionally since 2007. She has contributed a number of articles online on topics ranging from fashion to technology to travel. She has a bachelor's degree in English literature from the University of South Florida.