The time after you give birth is a joyous and emotional time. After nine long months of pregnancy, you will greet the arrival of your baby with great anticipation. It may seem impossible that anything could make you wish for those days when you were still pregnant. Unfortunately, the time after delivery often marks a drastic change in their sexual desire. While most women—and men—expect changes in their sex life immediately after the birth of a child, as the weeks turn into months it is normal for both partners to wonder when, and if, things will ever return to normal.
Talk to your doctor. Never assume that a loss of libido is all in your head. Talk to your doctor about how your libido has changed since you gave birth. Your health care provider can help rule out physical problems as well as reassure you that lower libido is normal after birth.
Deal with fatigue. Nap during the day or ask your partner to take over some of the nighttime feedings, so you can get enough rest. It is impossible to look forward to sex when you are sleep deprived.
Remove the pressure. Talk honestly with your spouse about your lack of sex drive. Remember, he is a new parent also, and is likely experiencing many conflicting emotions as well. Reassuring your spouse that you find him attractive and are working on increasing your sex drive can help ease the pressure on both of you.
Prepare for sex. Before hitting the sheets, take the time for a warm bath, a glass of wine or anything else that will help you relax and get you in the mood. This type of prep work may seem like a waste of time, but it is important to help your body transition from "mommy mode" to wife and lover.
Use a lubricant. It is hard to look forward to something that is painful. Hormonal changes after birth can make intercourse uncomfortable. Adding lubrication can ease the discomfort and make sex more enjoyable.
Just do it. Sex drive is complicated, and sometimes, if you don't use it, you lose it. You may need to go ahead and have sex sometimes, even when you're not in the mood. No one expects you to participate in something you don't want to do, but sometimes it takes a little nudge to get the libido back into gear. Once you get over the hurdle of not being in the mood, you may just find that you are enjoying yourself.