The things we say and do reveal so much about who we are — and our bedroom behavior is no exception. How you act between the sheets can say more about your personality than you’d think. Here’s what the experts had to say specifically about the sounds you — and your lover(s) — make during sex and what they may reveal about the kind of person you are. See if you agree!
You know it when you hear it — the guttural, staccato moans that come out in short loud bursts and can be startling at times. “Machine gun moans probably accompany the ‘jackrabbit’ thrusting style,” says sexual health educator at O.school Kenna Cook. “This is the type of person who wants to assert their dominance by making themselves bigger, louder, stronger.” Good to know.
Sensitive yet sensual ear-piercing noises are often indicative of someone who’s a bit softer than most. “They are probably really ticklish, so touching their erogenous zones sends them into a high-pitched giggle fit,” Cook explains. “They’re also sensitive emotionally — likely the ones who cried during the first 10 minutes of ‘Up.’” If you or your partner is a squealer or prone to full-on laughter, realize that sex doesn’t need to be so serious. If the giggles do turn you off or are too distracting, try taking things slow — use a more firm touch and aim for pressure to avoid tickles.
Overeager and extra enthused, the person who does a lot of heavy breathing likely has either been in a sexual drought or wants to get it on much more frequently than he or she is currently. If you or your partner is panting like a dog, rest assured that you’re both doing everything right, even if you don’t feel like you’re doing much at all. This person is just really, really into it.
“This person is having the best orgasm of their life,” Cook says. “They are having an out-of-body experience and forgetting how to breathe. Whatever you’re doing, it’s blowing their mind, so keep it up!”
“This person probably reads a lot of erotica — you’ll likely find a copy of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ on their nightstand,” Cook says. “Wanting to talk in descriptive detail about what is happening with your bodies and how it makes them feel stimulates their brain, which is the biggest sex organ.” While speaking in the third person could be off-putting initially, there are so many possibilities for fun if you or your lover likes commentating on the action. Who knows? You just may help each other loosen your inhibitions.
Sex is a great way to leave your more conservative nature at the door and release your wilder inner self. Matchmaker and relationship expert Rori Sassoon says that those who tend to be moaners are usually the overachievers who like having all their ducks in a row outside of the bedroom, which can make their intimate noises all the more surprising. “This person is a Type A personality finally letting themselves free enough to get into the action,” she explains. “It’s also the one time he or she doesn’t care what the neighbors think.”
This type of sex sound can be a bit unexpected, but it’s really a way of using role reversal in the bedroom, Sassoon explains. “This person is usually a control freak,” she says. “They enjoy being a mother or father figure and having control over someone.” So, in the bedroom it'a sometimes fun to flip the script, so to speak, and want to be controlled. Sound familiar? Communicate your wants to your partner if you’re the baby talker, or give your lover what he or she wants by taking the reigns.
Sometimes a dirty talker is someone who “wants to get down to business and doesn’t care how, when or why, as long as there’s a safe word,” Sassoon says. But having a filthy mouth could mean something else entirely. According to contemporary erotic fiction writer Cardyn Brooks, those who talk the dirtiest are often those same people who are super polite in the daylight, yet turn once they hit the sheets. “These prim and proper individuals smile with their mouths closed and sit with their legs crossed at their ankles,” she says. “But in private, they’ll spew a litany of the most profane four-letter words in a dizzying array of combinations to command, praise and spur their lovers into action.”
According to clinical sexologist and certified sex coach Sunny Rodgers, barely audible sounds typically come from those more introverted people who try to restrain their true feelings, even during sex. “Their hushed murmurs furtively escape during the heat of the moment,” she explains. “When you hear those breathy whispers you’ll know you’re making all the right sex moves.”
Silence is golden, even in the bedroom, erotic fiction writer Cardyn Brooks says. For those silent types, “innovative improvisation shapes their tunnel vision in bed — or against the wall or on a desk or in the basket of a hot air balloon or wherever and whenever passion sparks,” she explains. “Why waste their breath on words when their actions tell the truth of their intentions?” Strategic and focused, those who choose to stay mum during sex are usually the most dedicated to their and their partners’ pleasure. Me-ow!
What Do YOU Think?
Do you agree with what these noises mean? What's the weirdest noise a partner has ever made? Are any of these noises a deal breaker for you? Let us know in the comments!
Journalist Natasha Burton has written for Cosmopolitan for Latinas, Maxim, Cosmopolitan.com, and WomansDay.com, among others. The author of "101 Quizzes for Couples" and "The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags," she is regularly called on as a relationship expert by various media outlets around the world.