When you enter a relationship excited and eager for love, you may feel hurt if your man doesn't feel the same. For some men, a new love affair doesn't create the same excitement, but instead causes him to feel confusion and fear. Though you can't single-handedly take away your guy's love-related fears, you can help him learn to give and receive love.
Give him time, but keep your own interests in mind. If the thought of giving his heart away makes your guy nervous, the worst thing you can do is rush him. Even though your longing to be close to him may leave you wanting to push your relationship forward full-speed, trying to force him to commit too quickly could push him to run from the relationship without looking back. Although you can't give your guy forever to get over his nervousness, let him push the relationship forward at his own speed as long as you are relatively comfortable in the relationship. If you feel that time is slipping away and you need to move forward -- for children or other ambitions -- then acknowledge your needs and give him a chance to move forward or agree to to part.
Be sensitive to your man's fears. Your guy's fear of what you so long for – love – may seem silly to you; however, painful past experiences can cast fear in a man, says Seth Meyers in his article "Fear of Intimacy in Men: Cause, Relationship Problems, Tips." Be honest with your man. Tell him what you see and what you believe about his reluctance to move forward in the relationship, advises Meyers. Give him an opportunity to talk about his feelings, without judgment or criticism. Remember, feelings are not wrong, but they are avenues to explore.
Admit your fear. If you are as scared of falling deeply and irrevocably in love as your man is, tell him. If you admit that love makes you more than a bit nervous as well, you may be able to show him that the emotions he feels are not his alone. Instead, you are going through the experience together, strengthening your bond.
Make your affections known. According to "What Does It Mean to Be 'Afraid of Love'?," by Mark D. White, Ph.D., many men are afraid of love because they worry that their love won't be returned. If you care for your man, tell him so, taking away his fear that you won't feel for him what he feels for you.
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Writer Bio
Erin Schreiner is a freelance writer and teacher who holds a bachelor's degree from Bowling Green State University. She has been actively freelancing since 2008. Schreiner previously worked for a London-based freelance firm. Her work appears on eHow, Trails.com and RedEnvelope. She currently teaches writing to middle school students in Ohio and works on her writing craft regularly.